The seventeenth question for the Q&A section of this blog is: “What would you most readily die for?”
Well, that’s easy: My son. But I would also die for someone I was in a romantic relationship with, if I was in love with them…perhaps even if I wasn’t, but definitely if I was. …And my best friend (Mike). There might be others, but I think they would be more situational, as horrible as that might sound.
I guess, really, what it comes down to is that I would die for the people I’m not sure I could actually live without, and those whose lives I value above my own.
Without Mike, I would still have friends, but nothing like him. He is a far better and closer friend to me than any I’ve had before him or since, and there is no part of me that believes that I would ever meet anyone as good as him again, if he was gone. It’s just not possible. I do hope someday to find someone I can spend the rest of my life in love with, and if that ever happens, I’m sure that person will be very close and dear to me, and I hope I will be able to share things with them and have their support as I do with Mike…but even if that does happen, I will still always need Mike. He’s just…another part of me.
I can’t really explain our friendship, because sometimes it feels like it’s beyond friendship…though of course I don’t mean that it’s romantic or sexual, just…on a higher level, I guess. I feel like Mike was meant to be in my life. If he died, I don’t know if I could get through the days without him. I really, honestly do not believe that I could. I need to know he’s out there somewhere, even if we’re not talking.
As for someone I was in love with…well, I’ve been in love before, and it’s something that is very important to me to find in my life. The love I’ve had so far has been great, and with certain individuals quite strong, and I know that while I was with them, I would have been completely destroyed if anything had ever taken them from me so permanently. It’s one thing to break up, and know that person goes on living in the world; it’s another entirely to know that they are gone, forever, and that you will never get to speak to or see them again. I’m not sure I could handle that. I’m not built for loss.
Take that and multiply it by the strength of the love I would have for someone I felt strongly enough for to be willing to marry them, and you have another person who, like Mike, I’m not sure I could live without. I know it’s kind of weird for me to say this without actually having a person in my life romantically, but it’s just something I know about myself. I don’t know how people go on after their spouse dies. I really don’t.
Then you have my son, and…well, I think it should be pretty obvious why I’d die for him. He is literally a part of me, he’s my little clone, and he embodies all of the hope I have for the future. He is a phenomenal child, with so much potential, who brightens the lives of others just by being in their presence, and one of the biggest fears I have is that he will die. Oddly, considering what I’ve said about the others, I feel like if he died I would have to go on living, to attempt to bring to the world all the things I know he could have…but I’m not sure I could. It would take a hell of a lot of strength that I don’t know how I’d have without him, since he saved my life by being born…and I’m fairly certain that even if I did manage to go on without him, the rest of my life would be lived on autopilot.
Without a second’s thought, I would die for any of those people. I have actually thrown myself into the path of danger to protect my son before, and I’ll do it again, if need be. He needs to live. It’s simply the truth. He’s got something very important to bring to this world…I don’t know yet what it is, but I know he does. And if I have to die for that, I will.
So there you have it. I would readily die for anyone I couldn’t live without (which so far seems to be two people), and would most readily die for my son.
Check out Mike’s answer at http://emptystress.wordpress.com, and please feel free to post your own in the comments!
(Next question: “What would you most like more sympathy for?”)