Tag Archive: complaining


Q&A: Politically Incorrect

The one hundred-twelfth question for the Q&A section of this blog is: “When do you find yourself most politically incorrect?”

Hahaha, wow, this question. When do I find myself most politically incorrect? All the time. Given the standards for what is considered to be politically correct these days, I’m pretty sure I’m politically incorrect 99.9% of the time. Honestly, I think our society has gone way too far in terms of political correctness; to the point that just being yourself is no longer “PC”, so you have to monitor your every action and every word that passes your lips, lest it offend someone in some weird, backwards way. It amazes me what people find offensive these days. I look at Facebook, and all I see is people complaining about what other people are thinking, doing or saying, and it is genuinely fascinating (and, at the same time, incredibly frustrating) to see how people these days can twist even the nicest, most well-intended statement or action into something horribly offensive. It makes me afraid to talk to anyone I meet in public, because I can’t know, when meeting them, how ‘sensitive’ they’ll be. Everything sets people off these days, and I find it overwhelmingly draining.

But when do I find myself most politically incorrect? Well, I guess that would be when talking to or about (or, as it is most of the time, just thinking about) feminists. There is very little in feminism that I agree with, despite being female myself, so I have a very hard time maintaining my socially acceptable status when feminist issues are being discussed. Now, I say that very broadly, because I have absolutely no interest in going into the details of this and getting blasted for it at the moment, so there are, of course, parts of feminism that I find to be perfectly reasonable, and I’m not saying feminists are bad, because some of them are perfectly fine people…it’s just that most of what they preach really isn’t reasonable or okay, to me. Most of it is, to be honest, infuriating to me…as is the way society is run in many other ways, these days.

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I am really just not meant to exist in the current time period, I don’t think. It would be nice if I existed at a time when my feelings were more PC…and/or the definition of what is PC was more reasonable.

Check out Mike’s answer at http://emptystress.wordpress.com, and please feel free to post your own in the comments! :)

(Next question: “When did you have the weakest self-confidence ever?”)

Ahhh, another chapter of pointless conversation and the relentless description of tension between Edward and Bella.  See why I said these chapters were repetitive?  It’s just the same crap, over and over, except I care less and less every time.  And I really don’t care about what Bella does and does not like, which is at least half this chapter, so hopefully I’ll be able to skim through that pretty quickly.

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The chapter starts with eeeeeveryone watching Bella and Edward as they walk to their table in Bio class (because they are obviously just so fucking fascinating when they’re doing absolutely nothing out of the ordinary), and Edward sitting closer to Bella than he used to while they watch a video (on VHS, at that).  Meyer goes on for an entire page about the tension between them as they both apparently sneak peeks at one another and hurt themselves trying not to touch each other, because the desire to is just soooo strong, and Bella has to try not to hyperventilate when Edward smiles at her, which I don’t feel like is normal at all.

In the end, she remembers absolutely nothing about the movie they watched because she’s so wrapped up in Edward – god, that is a healthy level of obsession, isn’t it? – and then Edward walks her to gym class, where he looks torn and pained and all those other things you want someone to look like when they’re agonizing over how much they want you (or so I assume, given Meyer keeps telling us that), until he runs his hand down her face.   Neither of them says anything after that, they both just leave, and Bella goes to get changed in a trance because apparently Edward makes her “lightheaded and wobbly” MULTIPLE TIMES in just this one chapter.  Yay.

Then it’s time to play what I’m assuming is badminton but is at least some game with a racket, and Mike offers to be her partner because “some vestiges of (Mike’s) chivalry still survived“…oh come on now; he’s not gonna turn into a gigantic dick just because you turned him down, you self-absorbed bitch.  He was never mean to you, not even for a second, so you have absolutely zero reason to believe he would be now.  Stop acting like every fucking person who is nice to you is secretly out to get you!

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Thankfully she at least thanks Mike for partnering up with her even though she sucks worse at sports than anyone else on the planet, but then thinks “Sometimes it was so easy to like Mike”, which makes me want to stab her again.  Again, Mike has been NOTHING but nice, friendly and understanding to her, so there is no reason why it shouldn’t ALWAYS be easy to like Mike.  Maybe I’m being too sensitive here, but this shit pisses me off.  She’s still being an ungrateful bitch, and more so to the two people who are nicest to her than anyone else, and it is infuriating!

Blah blah blah, details of how much she sucks at sports yet again, and Mike is only “pretty good” at them despite winning 3 of 4 games singlehandedly, and then her “feelings of affection” for him disappear because he has the absolute gall to ask if she and Edward are together.  What the FUCK is wrong with this girl?? She curses Jessica here too, for some reason…I’m assuming the logic there is that she assumes that Jess told Mike about her and Edward, but she’s been fucking with Edward everywhere she goes; I think Mike could figure it out on his own!

She gets all defensive when he says he doesn’t like that Edward looks at her like she’s something to eat, but then she thinks it’s funny because he (Edward) is doing exactly that, which is just her missing the fucking point entirely.  Mike has her best interests at heart, and she’s not even considering that for a second; she’s just telling him to mind his own business and laughing because he doesn’t know how RIGHT he is!  Fuck, she is the stupidest fucking character!

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She doesn’t spend even two seconds thinking about the conversation with Mike once she leaves him; she just goes back to getting butterflies over Edward again as she wonders whether he’ll be waiting to drive her home or not. Of course he fucking will; he made you come to school without your car, he’s not gonna just make you walk home without at least telling you about that beforehand! That’s just common decency!

She worries about whether his family knows that she knows they’re vampires or not, but that line of thinking quickly disappears when Edward is outside the door waiting for her, as expected, and she feels all relieved.  I’m sorry; I’m really annoyed by all this right now, so I may be saying things more sarcastically than perhaps I should be.  Anyway, they start talking about her gym class, and she realizes that Edward was listening in on her through Mike.  Edward says Mike is getting on his nerves, which is funny since all he’s done ‘wrong’ is have the exact same fucking concern for Bella that Edward keeps saying he has for her, and that he wishes she would have for herself…so yet again, someone is a dick to Mike for no good reason.

Of course Bella is all annoyed that Edward was listening in on her again, because she was somehow stupid enough to have not predicted that would happen, and then is subsequently annoyed because he doesn’t sound remorseful when he blames her for being the reason he did it (what?), so she ignores him, but walks to his car anyway.  “I hate you, don’t talk to me, but please drive me home!”  Bitch.

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Meyer decides to take another detour in her own story here and go on about cars for a  bit again, which is still entirely irrelevant to anything, but it gets Bella and Edward talking again, so clearly that was the point.  This exchange annoys me though, because Bella bothers to ask what kind of car Rosalie is driving, and then immediately makes it clear – in the most bitchy way possible – that she knows fuck all about cars.  So why did she ask in the first place?!

Bella and Edward make a deal that she will forgive him if he apologizes to her and agrees to let her drive on Saturday (after he rejects her attempt to make a deal that will keep him from listening in on her again; she gave that one up pretty easily), so he apologizes.

After that, they get into another completely unnecessary conversation about how Edward won’t bring a car on Saturday so that Charlie won’t find out that they’re together, even though he loves that family so there’s no reason why it would be a bad thing if he did find that out…and then they’re at Charlie’s, and Bella is asking if it’s “later” yet so she can find out about…whatever it was at the end of the last chapter that was supposed to be important.  See, that’s how much I care, and how well this book sticks with me.  Fuck.

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Oh, right, it’s about why she can’t see him hunt. He apologizes for scaring her with his reaction to her asking if she could see it sometime, then explains that the reason it would be so dangerous for her to be around while they hunted is that they give themselves over to their senses when they hunt, so he couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t hurt her.  Reasonable.  Bella doesn’t say or do anything in response to this, just stares at him until he tells her she should go inside, getting all dizzy and weird again.

She gets out of the car, Edward informs her that it’ll be his turn to ask questions next, and then he’s gone, and this chapter gets even less interesting than it was before.  She has a restless sleep full of dreams of Edward, wakes up and bitches about the clothes she has to wear because of the weather in Forks, has a different breakfast than Charlie because for some reason he doesn’t make her any eggs, which I find hard to believe, and then she and Charlie have a completely pointless conversation in which he reiterates that she is going to Seattle and isn’t going to the dance.  Really, why did we need that, Meyer?  You’ve already been over those points a thousand times.

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Charlie leaves, and as soon as he’s gone, Edward is there waiting for Bella.  She leaves without locking the door, which we for some reason needed to know even though it doesn’t come up again in the chapter at all, then gets into the car with Edward, who is excruciatingly perfect and beautiful and blah blah blah; shut the fuck up.

I was always good – much more than good – when I was near him.

Really?  Because I have seen absolutely no fucking proof of that.  Most of the time when you’re with him, you’re pissed off about something, and the rest of the time you’re scared of something; it’s very, very rare that you’re actually happy or “good”.  Even when things are going the way you supposedly want.

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Edward asks her how she is and they discuss how little she slept, because hahahaha that’s so fucking funny because Edward doesn’t sleep at all, and then he starts in with the insane questions, which I’m not even going to bother to list off because they are really just the most boring questions that there is no reason why we would need the answers to at all, so I’ll only mention the especially stupid/annoying things that come of this conversation.

“‘Everything that’s supposed to be brown – tree trunks, rocks, dirt – is all covered up with squashy green stuff here,’ I complained.”

…That’s something worth complaining about?  Seriously?  Who the fuck would rather see dirt than vegetation? She said herself how pretty all the green stuff was, didn’t she?  I’m not going back to check, because fuck that, but really; this is such a fucking bullshit complaint.

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It turns out that Edward has the same CD Bella has, the one that her stepdad gave her, which is supposed to be one of those “omg we have so much in common” moments…but really, it just doesn’t come off as interesting to even the slightest degree here.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d talked so much. More often than not, I felt self-conscious, certain I must be boring him. But the absolutely absorption of his face, and his never-ending stream of questions, compelled me to continue.

Uggggh, you’re definitely boring me, if nothing else, and I have NO idea how anyone could be ‘absorbed’ by this pointless crap.  I don’t care what your favourite colour or movie or whatever the hell is, and why the hell would someone who has lived for centuries give a shit about that either?  This is NOT an interesting character, Meyer, and there is NO reason why someone like Edward would be drawn to her, or want to know any of this shit, and even less reason why we as the readers need to know it!

Blah blah fucking blah, her favourite gemstone is the colour of his eyes, how fucking surprising, and this goes on and fucking ON, until they have another tense movie session in bio class which ends, once again, with Bella having retained exactly none of what was in the video, and after which Edward touches her face again when he drops her off at gym class.  I DON’T GIVE A SHIT.  NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT.

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In gym, Mike ignores her, and she can’t tell if it’s because she looks distracted or if it’s because of their “squabble” the day before, and she considers feeling bad about that but decides she can’t be bothered because she’s a gigantic bitch.  Oh, sorry, I read that wrong; it’s because she “can’t concentrate on him“. …No, yeah, that’s the same thing; she is really just a gigantic bitch.  Seriously, how fucking self-absorbed can you be?!  I’d like to say she’s not going to have many friends left if she keeps treating people this way, but clearly in Meyer’s experience that’s not the case, so it won’t happen…and that is somewhat infuriating to me.  God, I hate this book.

She rushes to change so she can be with Edward one millisecond sooner, who apparently starts questioning her again the moment he sees her.  Yaaaaaay.  They talk for hours about stuff that’s supposed to be deep and meaningful and interesting, but that I still just don’t even give the smallest of shits about, and then Edward reminds her that her father will be home soon, so they should probably stop talking.

“‘Charlie!’ I suddenly recalled his existence, and sighed.”

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I just…I just hate you so much.  So, so much.

She asks what time it is, which leads to a little rant from Edward about how it’s twilight (which does not really tell her what time it is, but hey, whatever) and how sad and ‘predictable’ the darkness is, and that feels ridiculously lame to me, but apparently we need to know that that’s the safest time of day for vampires for some reason.  Bella says she likes the dark, then Edward reminds her again that Charlie’s about to show up and informs her that there will be more fucking questions in the morning (kill me now), before realizing that “another complication” has arisen.

What complication is that?  Why, it’s a car pulling up that isn’t Charlie’s, that causes Edward to take off quickly, because inside the car are Jacob and his father.  Good times.  Jacob doesn’t notice Edward, but his father does, and he is clearly not amused at all.  The description of him is kind of terrifying and horrible, but of course Bella would see him that way since he’s an enemy of Edward in her eyes, so…yeah.  The chapter ends with Bella realizing that Billy (Jacob’s father) does ‘believe’ the ‘impossible legends’ about the vampires, and you have no idea how happy I am that this is over.  How did this book get so popular?  It’s so boring, and Bella is a TERRIBLE character!  Ugh.  That’s it for now.

But god, I wish it was.

But god, I wish it was.

(See Mike’s take on this chapter at http://emptystress.wordpress.com!)

Why can’t this book get any better?  Why am I hating these characters and their interactions more and more with every page?  Why is none of this believable?  Why did this book get such rave reviews, and why did I think it was going to be better than The Host?  Why did I ever decide to read this crap?

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Okay, so we start with Bella’s dream about Edward, which is nothing more than her chasing him as he walks away from her in darkness.  Exciting.  After that first dream, she has similar dreams about him almost every night, and then Meyer changes the subject back to how hard Bella’s life is again.  Yay.

The month after the accident is generally crap because people are paying attention to her and she hates people caring OR not caring about her, and because Tyler is always trying to make amends with her, which is just soooooo annoying.  Tyler following her around makes Mike and Eric jealous, so clearly her circle of swoony guys is growing, so we’ll undoubtedly get to hear even more whining about all the unwanted attention she gets as the book goes on.

Bella tries to turn all the attention onto Edward, which seems like a terrible idea given his disposition, but luckily no one pays much attention to her attempts because they didn’t see Edward until the van had been pulled away, and somehow that meant his contribution wasn’t important.  She wonders why no one else noticed where Edward had actually been standing before the accident happened, then realizes that no one else is as obsessed with him as she is, which is super pathetic…and yes, dear, it is.

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Bella is jealous of Edward for the fact that everyone continues to avoid him, as they did before, instead of falling over themselves to talk to him as they are with her…and she’s also displeased that he no longer looks at her or acknowledges her presence when they’re in class together; instead sitting as far away from her as possible.  She decides that his disposition toward her must mean that he wishes he hadn’t saved her life, because “no other conclusion” makes more sense than that.  Yeah, that’s not super emo or anything.

We go back in time slightly to the day after the accident, when Bella finally realized that she probably shouldn’t be pissed at Edward for not telling her all his secrets when he JUST SAVED HER LIFE, and we see how when she tried to talk to him in class, he gave her no response beyond a nod.  That seems a pretty reasonable reaction, to be fair; she didn’t try to apologize for being an ungrateful little bitch, she just tried to say hi, so why should he feel like engaging in conversation with her?

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Back in the ‘present’, Bella watches Edward creepily from a distance, but when they’re in class she pretends to ignore his presence the way he does to her, because that’s obviously the mature thing to do when you’ve wronged someone and should be apologizing.  She keeps dreaming of him and being miserable, and her depression over Edward is so apparent that her mother can tell something’s wrong through email, so she calls a bunch (which, of course, Bella doesn’t like).

Once again, though, why does Bella refer to her mother as “Renee”?  These people are her parents; there’s no reason why she should be referring to them by their first names when she’s thinking about them.  Her relationship with her mother is definitely supposed to be good, so this just feels awkward.

Then we’re back to Mike, and how happy he is that Bella and Edward no longer seem to communicate, because it means his imaginary chances with her were not spoiled by Edward saving her life.  He grows more confident and bold, ignoring Edward, and then we get into a bunch of pointless blather about how disappointed he is about not getting to have his snowball fight, but how happy he is that they’ll get to go to the beach soon.  Who the fuck cares?

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As if this chapter wasn’t inane enough, the next couple of pages are nothing but talk about some stupid girls’ choice dance, and how Jessica wants to invite Mike, which Bella is fine with since she’s not going.  She thinks because Jess doesn’t try very hard to convince her to go, it means she likes her more for her popularity than her company, which is fucking stupid because Jess was one of the first people to pay attention to her anyway, before she became popular, and because it`s incredibly fucking obvious that Jess isn`t going to push her on going because she wants Mike to say yes to her, so she sure as hell doesn`t want Bella there when she knows Mike will want to be with Bella instead.  Why Bella needs to turn everything into a “woe is me, no one really likes me for me” whine fest, I don’t know, but here we are yet a-fucking-gain.

The next day, Jessica is quiet and avoids Mike, who is also quiet, so we all know what happened, but Meyer feels the need to draw it out anyway.  Mike and Bella get into the expectedly awkward conversation about Jess asking him, and how he wants to go with Bella instead, which she should have fucking expected since she knew he had feelings for her, so why she feels the need to make him SAY he wants to go with her, I don’t know…but of course she does, then feels guilty about it and tells him he should go with Jess.

He asks if she already asked someone and she tells him no, then lies about having to go to Seattle that day and presses him on saying yes to Jess.  He decides she’s right and leaves, and then class starts, with Edward for some reason staring at Bella now with a frustrated look on his face.  Man, I am so bored.

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Bella stares back at Edward until the teacher calls on him to answer a question and he looks away (apparently reluctantly, though of course that’s what Bella would want to believe), at which point Bella looks down and hides her face so he can’t see how emotional his staring at her has made her. She actually realizes that the amount of influence Edward has over her is unhealthy, yet I highly doubt that’s going to make anything about their relationship healthier in the future, or that Meyer will ever acknowledge again that it’s really not healthy, so I’m not going to get my hopes up here.

Bella tries to ignore Edward for the rest of class, but then at the end, when she’s getting ready to go, Edward tries to get her attention.  She has to fight her swooniness over his voice and “too-perfect face” when she looks at him, but when she finally responds, she does so in a bitchy way again, snapping at him as she asks if he’s speaking to her again.  God, Bella, you’re such an idiot; you owe him an apology, yet he’s seeking you out, and you’re totally in love with him and want him to talk to you, but when he does you act like a petulant child again?  Wtf?

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Edward is amused by her childishness, which annoys her all the more, so she asks him what he wants and he apologizes to her for not talking to her, saying it’s for the best if they’re not friends, but that he’s aware that he’s being rude.  Yep, he is definitely way more of an adult than she will ever be.

The bitchiness escalates as Bella tells him it’s too bad he didn’t figure out that they shouldn’t be friends earlier so he could have saved himself the ‘regret’ of having saved her, which is just ungrateful and emo and fucking annoying all over again, and shocks Edward to even hear.  She tells him she knows he regrets it, which understandably angers him because she’s presuming to know his feelings and STILL BEING UNGRATEFUL (she still has yet to truly thank him or apologize), so he tells her she doesn’t know anything, which causes her to turn away and storm off.  Oh, fuck you, Bella.

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Luckily she trips on the doorjamb and drops everything as she goes to leave the room, so there is some justice in the world, but instead of laughing at her like she might deserve, Edward simply goes and stacks all the books she dropped and hands them to her.  Is she finally grateful?  No, she thanks him icily and storms off again without looking back.  Wow.  Just fucking wow.  Why is anyone interested in her again?  Edward really should regret saving her by this point.

Next we’re off to gym, where Bella apparently can’t stand up straight because they’re playing basketball, even though she’s never given the ball, and I’m left wondering whether Meyer really wanted us to like Bella or not.  She’s such a pathetic, annoying character that I’m starting to think she didn’t, but I can’t understand why she would write a character we weren’t mean to connect with or at least feel sympathy for.  I have yet to find a reason why I would ever want to read even the rest of this book, nonetheless the rest of the series, if I didn’t have to…

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Anyway, yeah, Bella sucks at gym and blames it on thinking about Edward even though she sucked at gym before she met Edward, and thinking of things other than her balance should not cause her to lose her balance…and then she rushes out to her truck, which we get a brief damage assessment on before she finds Eric leaning against it. Unsurprisingly (for me, anyway; apparently Bella is surprised), Eric is there to see if she wants to go to the dance with him, so she turns him down, using the same excuse as she used on Mike.

Eric leaves, and Bella hears Edward laugh as he passes in front of her truck, which ignites her anger again, so she jumps into her truck and pulls out in just enough time to be cut off by his car.  He blocks off the path out of the school as he waits for his family, annoying Bella even further as traffic piles up behind her, and then Tyler, who was in the car behind her, comes up to her truck and knocks on the window.  Who wants to guess what he wants?!

Bella thinks he’s annoyed that she’s blocking traffic, so she immediately tells him it’s Edward’s fault, but he shrugs that off, saying he’d wanted to ask her something…which is, of course, if she’ll ask him to the dance.  Fuuuuuuck, I am sick of this shit.  Just fucking end, okay book?  We do not need to sit here watching Bella have the same fucking conversation three times!

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Once again, she tells him she won’t be in town, which apparently he already knew from Mike but had hoped was just a way to let Mike down easy…as though it would have gone over so well if she’d lied to Mike and then gone with someone else.  Smart, Tyler. She reiterates that she’s going out of town, which Tyler is fine with because there will still be prom to go to, and then off he goes.

Bella can see that Edward is laughing hysterically in front of her, watching her through the rear view mirror, and she considers rear ending his car, but he takes off before she can.  She drives home and starts to make chicken enchiladas for supper, which sounds incredibly fucking delicious and I want it, and as she does so, Jess calls her to tell her that Mike agreed to go to the dance with her.  Bella ‘celebrates’ with her, then discovers that she is going to call her other girlfriends to tell them too, so Bella suggests that those friends ask Eric and Tyler to the dance.  Jess agrees that they should, then reiterates that she wishes Bella would go to the dance (so maybe she can stop whining about Jess not really liking her), but Bella gives her the same excuse as she gave the guys.  Lies for everyone!

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After she gets off the phone, she tries to concentrate on what she’s doing, but she is (once again) too distracted by thoughts of Edward.  As she analyzes his every word, she realizes that he must see how she feels about him and not want to lead her on, which is why he says they can’t be friends; because he’s not interested in her.  This leads, of course, to her thinking about how wonderful and perfect he is, and how that means that of course he wouldn’t be interested in her because she’s not interesting, because Meyer is winning at portraying self-esteem in girls once again…and then she’s angry about it and decides to leave him alone completely.

She turns her mind to the sunny places she intends to go for college as she finishes making the food, and then Charlie comes home and is suspicious about the green peppers, but because he’s a big, brave cop, he tries the food anyway.  What the…oh, fuck it.

Bella tells Charlie that she’s going to go to Seattle for the day to make her lie become the truth…no, wait, she starts to tell him that she is, then asks if it’s okay because she feels rude just telling him, even though she doesn’t want to ask permission because doing so “sets a bad precedent“.  I just…seriously, this character.  There are no words.

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Charlie asks why she’s going, so she tells him it’s because the library in Forks sucks, and because she wants to get some new clothes.  He mentions that the truck doesn’t get good gas mileage, so she says she’ll make a few stops along the way (cause that makes it better), and he asks if she’s going by herself.  When she tells him she is, he worries about her getting lost because Seattle is so big, but she argues that Phoenix is bigger, and that she can read a map.  He asks if she wants him to go with her, which she is horrified by for no good reason that I can see, so she tells him she’ll be in dressing rooms all day to put him off, because of course he’s a man and Meyer is super stereotypical.  Needless to say, it works, and Charlie gives up.

And then, god help me, this chapter keeps fucking going, with Charlie asking her if she’s going to the dance and her telling him she doesn’t dance, and then it’s the next morning, and Bella is trying to park as far away from Edward as possible so she can resist the temptation to smash into his car.  When she gets out of her truck, though, she drops her keys into a puddle, and then Edward is suddenly there, handing them to her.  She asks him how he appears out of thin air the way he does, and he responds with my favourite line of the book so far:

“‘Bella, it’s not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant.‘”

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I’m not even sure why I like that line so much, but I do; it made me laugh.  Bella, of course, is not pleased by this remark and scowls at him, then asks him why he blocked traffic the day before.  If she’d just left it at that, the question might have been fine, but being the child that she is, she needs to add in a snipey comment about how he was supposed to be pretending she didn’t exist, not irritating her to death.  Grow the fuck up.

Edward tells her he did it to give Tyler a chance to ask her to the dance, which pisses Bella off even more, and that subsequently amuses Edward even more, but then Bella takes it a bit too far when she accuses him yet again of trying to irritate her to death “since Tyler’s van didn’t do the job“.  He calls her ‘utterly absurd’, which is kind of stupid because no high school guy would actually say that, but either way, Bella turns and walks away, holding back the urge to hit him.

As she leaves, Edward calls after her, but she just keeps going.  He apologizes for being rude (again, when the fuck is she going to apologize for anything?!), even if he knows what he said was true, and she asks why he won’t leave her alone.  He says he wanted to ask her something but she sidetracked him, and he seems to be back to normal again, so she asks him if he has multiple personality disorder, then asks what he wants to ask.

Because nothing makes any fucking sense in this book, Edward asks her (after a brief interval in which he makes it look like he’s going to ask her to the dance, and she gets pissed) if she wants a ride to Seattle the day she’s decided to go.  Why the hell would he offer that, when he just told her it was for the best if they weren’t friends, and she’s been such a gigantic fucking bitch to him?!

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Skipping the stupid drawn out back and forth Meyer feels compelled to add ALL THE FUCKING TIME, Bella asks him why he’s offering, and he says it’s because he was planning to go anyway, and he doesn’t think her truck can make it.  She turns him down because she’s a fucking moron, but he persists, which eventually leads to her pointing out that he didn’t want to be her friend, and him correcting her, saying he said it would be better if they weren’t friends, not that he didn’t want to be.  *sigh* Fucking Christ, I am so done.

He says it would be more prudent for her to not be his friend, but he’s tired of trying to stay away from her, and she gets all hot and bothered over that and can’t say anything.  Why the hell is he so drawn to her?  GIVE ME A FUCKING REASON, MEYER!  Stop telling me everyone wants to be with her without giving me a single goddamn reason why ANYONE would want to be with her, nonetheless HIM!  This is so fucking stupid!

He asks again if she’ll go to Seattle with him and she just nods, so he smiles, tells her that she should stay away from him but he’ll see her in class anyway, and leaves.  And that’s the end of the chapter.  I’m fucking pissed; this is such bullshit.  If he really thinks she should stay away, he should stay the fuck away from her, and at some point SOMEONE in this book needs to call her on her fucking attitude.  And I mean really call her on it, not just point out that she’s being a bitch and then trip over themselves to apologize for pointing it out because despite that she IS an annoying, whiny bitch, they can’t help but want to fuck her.  Agggggh.  Done.  I’m just done.

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And I think that should be enough posts to illustrate what this book is like; whiny, annoying, repetitive, and full of characters that make absolutely no fucking sense.  Can you see how every recap would just be reiterating the rage of the last one?  So, on to the full review!  Yay.

Well, this chapter was annoying.  Surprised?  Yeah, me neither.  I’m sick right now, so I apologize if this isn’t the most interesting or comprehensive recap; at this point, I just want to get through it, so I really hope it ends up making sense.

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So we start off by learning that the Seeker’s host body is named Lacey, and Wanda thinks that’s a really inappropriate name because it’s too ‘dainty’ for her personality, since she’s still loud and complains a lot, like the Seeker was/did.  So hey, maybe I was right when I said they might not want the host body to live, since it was previously mentioned that the souls start to take on a bit of the attitude of their host…clearly Lacey and the Seeker weren’t all that different.  The Seeker may even have been nicer than Lacey, in actuality.  We will never know!

What’s great is that at the very beginning of this chapter, Wanda expresses her impression of  Lacey, which is basically that she’s annoying and repugnant (which is kind of hilarious since Wanda complains almost non-stop too, she just doesn’t realize that she’s annoying), but we’re also told in the third paragraph that Lacey’s got a lot to say, so right from the get-go we know how shitty this chapter is going to be.  You’re really enticing me to read on, Meyer!  I can’t imagine anything better than willingly submitting myself to complaining that’s bad enough to put even Wanda off!

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“‘That’s why we don’t like you,’ she told me that first night, making no change from the present tense or the plural pronoun. ‘When she realized that you were hearing Melanie just the way she was hearing me, it made her frightened. She thought you might guess. I was her deep, dark secret.” A grating laugh. ‘She couldn’t make me shut up. That’s why she became a Seeker, because she was hoping to figure out some way to better deal with resistant hosts. And then she requested being assigned to you, so she could watch how you did it. She was jealous of you; isn’t that pathetic? She wanted to be strong like you. It gave us a real kick when we thought Melanie had won. I guess that didn’t happen, though. I guess you did. So why did you come here? Why are you helping the rebels?‘”

So, Meyer points out that Lacey doesn’t switch from the present tense or the plural pronoun here…but why?  Why would she do that?  The rest of what she says here explains only why the Seeker wouldn’t like Wanda, not why Lacey wouldn’t.  Lacey could certainly dislike her for other reasons (mostly that she is an alien, and therefore the enemy), but it wouldn’t really make sense for her to dislike Wanda for the same reasons, so I’m not sure why Meyer did this.

Continuing with this quote, I must have misunderstood the way Callings work, because I thought you got one before going to your next planet, or at least as soon as you were put into your host body, but apparently the Seeker chose her Calling (another thing I didn’t think they could do; guess I mistook all of this) long enough after implantation that she knew both that she had a resistant host, and that her efforts to subdue it would always be in vain. So what did she do for a Calling before that, then?  Nothing?

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Also, how did the Seeker know Wanda would have a resistant host before meeting her?  The way Meyer wrote this, the Seeker was around from the very beginning, because she was in the Healing facility when Fords implanted Wanda into Stryder’s body…so the Seeker had already become a Seeker by that point as a result of her resistant host, and wanted to follow Wanda because she somehow psychically knew Wanda would have a resistant host after implantation too, but that she would be able to control it better somehow (even though she never did)?  Why was she there when Wanda was implanted, otherwise?  Did I miss something here?

And even after the Seeker knew Wanda had a resistant host in Stryder, she also knew Wanda didn’t have control over Stryder…so what made the Seeker think Wanda was stronger than her?  From the way I read this book, it was quite the opposite.  I don’t know if anything that I’m saying is making any sense, and even if it is, I’m not sure I’m making valid points right now.  My brain is pretty fuzzy, and doesn’t seem to be processing anything properly, so again, sorry about that.

At the end of that quote, Lacey asks Wanda why she’s helping ‘the rebels’ (seems an odd choice of words for a human, but meh), and Wanda explains that it’s because she and Stryder are friends.  Lacey is not happy about that, and demands to know why they would like each other, so Wanda simply explains that they each think the other is a good person.  I beg to differ.

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Lacey assumes Wanda has Stryder brainwashed, which prompts Wanda and Stryder to have a brief discussion about how Lacey is worse than the Seeker, at which point Wanda makes pretty much the same point I did about the effect that Lacey had on the Seeker…and then Lacey launches into complaining about the living conditions in the caves.  Yay, I really needed to be reading about this this late in the book.  Couldn’t bother fleshing out the potentially interesting/exciting/relevant scenes, but you had to go on about all the things Lacey doesn’t like about living there so we can see just how much she’s a self-entitled, greedy bitch, eh Meyer?

Jeb apparently gave Lacey a tour of the caves the day after the Seeker was removed from her, and wished she’d been killed instead of saved throughout the whole thing.  Everyone else wanted to see Lacey, though, and welcomed her in even though she was being incredibly bitchy and whatnot, which made Wanda slightly jealous, even though she understood why Lacey was better received than she was.  Okay, I’ll give her that.

It also seems that Wanda explained to Ian and Jamie what happened with the Seeker/Lacey, and that it went a lot better than she’d expected because neither of them realized that the fact that the removal was successful meant that she would be leaving.  I’m not sure why she ever expected that they’d assume that it would mean that; again, no one wants or sees the sense in her ‘leaving’ but her, so why would they jump to that conclusion?

But Wanda thinks the reasons Ian and Jamie don’t realize what she’s going to do are that Jamie sees her and Stryder as a ‘package deal’, so he doesn’t see the need for the two to separate, and that Ian is too caught up in the potential changes being able to remove the souls might bring to notice.  Or…maybe Ian sees you as a package deal too, or thinks that if you’re removed at all, you’ll be put into another body.  Ever think of that?  Because it’s stupid to cut yourself out completely, no one thinks of it.  That’s really the only reason.  Ian and Jamie are both giving you more credit than you deserve, because they think you’re too smart and caring to plan to do what you are planning to do.

But we're supposed to believe she is.

But we’re supposed to believe she is.

She then mentions that Ian is ‘enraged’ over something, and it quickly becomes obvious that that ‘something’ is Kyle, as Ian starts going on about how he or their mother should have killed him.  Apparently everyone is angry at Kyle, Jeb because whatever Kyle did is going to keep him from going on the next (and Wanda’s last, supposedly; she makes sure to point this out, but again, she’s not going to leave.  We know that.) raid to send the Seeker’s soul off to space, which he was excited about doing, especially because not going on the raid means he’s stuck with Lacey in the caves.  I’d assume he’s not the only one staying behind, though, so it’s not like he has to spend 24 hours a day with her.

It turns out Kyle has put them all in danger by taking off on his own in the night, stealing the Jeep, and going out into the world to find Jodi, his girlfriend who was taken by the aliens and is apparently in Oregon.  I’d think it’d be a little more difficult for them to pull off the raid they’re going on without the Jeep, as it sounded like the other vehicles were stashed incredibly far from the caves (since they had to walk a long time just to get to the Jeep, and then drive to the other vehicles)…but I’m sure that won’t end up being a problem at all.  Meyer will likely just skip over it.

Another useless tangent here where Meyer talks about how Jared and Jeb wanted to put off the raid to send the Seeker off planet until Kyle got back, and how there was another place they could have evacuated to temporarily, but they didn’t do any of that because Wanda was in a hurry to get the Seeker out, because she was afraid someone would kill her if she didn’t soon.

The only part of this worth noting at all is where Wanda says the Seeker deserves a “mild, pleasant new life with the Flowers“, despite that she doesn’t know how much of the Seeker’s personality was influenced by Lacey, and the Seeker still was the one who killed Wes and attempted to kill Brandt (and really, everyone else), by her own choice, not Lacey’s, so she still doesn’t deserve anything good.  I hate the way Wanda thinks.

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Wanda considers it ironic that Ian helps her to speed the raid along, because he’s really just speeding up the time until her death, but either way, she’s grateful that he helps her convince Jared to get the raid done while Kyle is gone, because she’s confident that they can make it back before they have to make a decision regarding what to do about Kyle.

She’s also grateful that Ian helps her play bodyguard to the cryotank with the Seeker in it, and he ends up being the only one she trusts to hold it when she needs her arms for something.  That seems a bit ridiculous, since she’s had at least Jared, Doc and Jeb all promising to do nothing to hurt the Seeker, and Doc has yet to learn how to do the procedure so he’s sure to keep his word on that…but meh, whatever; we’re supposed to see this as her relationship with Ian growing, I assume, so fine, he’s the only trustworthy one.  That’s absolutely consistent with his personality and the story thus far.

“He was the only one who could see, in the shape of that small container, a life to be protected. He could think of that shape as a friend, something that could be loved.”

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This, however, I’m going to go ahead and call bullshit on.  He doesn’t think the Seeker is “a life to be protected” or “a friend“, and definitely not “something that could be loved“; if he can’t even see those things in his own brother for attempting murder, he’s sure as hell not going to see them in someone/something that did murder someone he cared about.  The only reason he doesn’t harm the Seeker is because he wants to sleep with Wanda, and she’s a complete fucking idiot for not seeing that.  She thinks Ian is oblivious for not seeing her plan, but she’s even more oblivious for not seeing his.  He doesn’t give a shit about your Seeker, Wanda, he just doesn’t want to lose the chance to bone you.  Simple as that.

“He was the best ally of all. I was so grateful for Ian, and so grateful for the obliviousness that saved him, for the moment, from pain.”

Yeah, Ian is the best ally of all.  I’m pretty sure I’ve given about a hundred reasons so far why that’s not true, and it’s pretty damn awesome to see Wanda forgetting about what everyone else has done for her because she’s decided Ian is oh so great.  Wasn’t it Jared that took you to get the supplies for Jamie that saved his life, Wanda?  Wasn’t it Jared who went with you, without questioning you at all, to get the cryotanks?  Wasn’t it Jared who helped you when you performed the removal on the Seeker?  Did Ian have any part in any of those things?  No.  Ian is not the best ally.  Stop being blinded by your complete and utter stupidity.

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So anyway, they go to Phoenix because, conveniently, there’s a shuttle field just southeast of it, with several Healing facilities nearby that Wanda can snatch a Healer at.  She wants to do a removal on one of those so the humans will have someone with them who may retain at least some knowledge of the Healing practices that the souls that were put into them were able to perform, so that they can help the humans identify and use the alien medicines properly, and point them to better (unattended) stashes of medical supplies.

Wanda describes the shuttles she sees coming and going, as well as the ones that aren’t going anywhere, which are clearly the ones she wants.  She tells the guys that everything’s labelled, because of course it is, and that they should avoid ships that are going to the Bats and See Weeds, because the See Weeds are just one system over, so it only takes a decade to make a round trip, which is too quick.  She says the Flowers are the farthest away, and the Dolphins, Bears and Spiders all take at least a century to go one way, so they should only send tanks to those, and I’m just not going to bother going into any of this crap about space travel.  I’m sure Mike will get to it when he comes to this chapter, and he’ll do it better than I could even if I wasn’t somewhat deliriously ill, so I’ll just…move on.

Oh, but I am somewhat surprised that they would label the ships by the species of the host, not the name of the planet, since the planets do seem to have names (Bears would be Mists Planet, unless I completely misunderstood all that crap)…but hey, whatever.

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Wanda explains that getting the Seeker on the correct ship will be easy, because the aliens have all kinds of delivery vehicles there, so they will blend in.  In the van.  What kind of van is this that it blends in with airport delivery trucks?  Man, I wish I cared.

She starts describing an alien she can see getting ready to load some tanks onto one of the ships, and then decides to circle the ship to give him time to get inside it, so she can ‘make her move’.

I pulled past, examining the scene in my mirrors.  There was a lit sign beside the tube that connected the head of the ship to the terminal.  I smiled as I read the words backward.  This ship was going to the Flowers.  It was meant to be.

Yes, Meyer, it was fucking meant to be, like every fucking other thing that has happened so far.  Have I said yet how sick I am of all this convenient bullshit?  WHY does this always have to happen?  Why can’t you make ANYTHING even the SLIGHTEST bit interesting?  And then to just sum it all up as “Oh, it’s meant to be”?  Fuck you!

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The man Wanda was watching disappears into the ship, so she tells the boys to get ready and pulls up between a ship’s wing and the tank truck the man she was watching was using, then turns off the van and opens up the back, where the Seeker’s tank is.  She takes the tank and begins to walk casually toward the truck, but finds that she feels more and more nervous as she goes, and finally starts to worry that the humans won’t be able to pull this off once she’s gone.

Stryder, for some reason, assures her that it’ll be okay, because if Wanda really does go, she (Stryder) will still be there, and she’ll do it herself.  I don’t see how that’s any better, because she’s still not an alien so it would still be a problem if anyone saw her…and besides, I’m not sure Jared would ever let her do something like that again after Chicago, so she’s probably not right here at all.

Wanda thanks her anyway, and puts the Seeker’s tank into the truck.

The addition, one among hundreds, was not noticeable.”

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Hundreds?  Why are hundreds going from just this one little location?  I thought they didn’t get sent off planet very often?  Is there some schedule as to when they take all of them for a flight off planet, and they just stock the tanks up until then?  Because if so, your precious humans might need to know that, so they don’t show up when they’re not even going to be able to complete this task.

And hell, even if it’s not just specific days that they do this, it was pretty fucking conveniently timed that someone was doing this right when you showed up needing to add one, and again, if not many go off planet I doubt they’re back and forth loading these things all day, so even then, the guys would need a schedule to know when to show up.  So this plan just would not work at all, in reality.  Not even a little bit.

Especially not if they had to load more than one at a time, which might be noticeable and would definitely be more difficult to carry, so they’d need either to make multiple trips or to have multiple people carry them…and again, doing only one at a time would be even riskier, because it would mean more trips.  So there is just nothing about this idea that is intelligent.

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Wanda says goodbye to the Seeker and wishes her better luck next life, then goes back to the van and drives away.  Ian climbs into the passenger seat and starts talking to her once they get far enough away, saying it doesn’t look too hard, which is fucking stupid.  Wanda says they were lucky with the timing (yep, it was definitely luck -_-) and that they might have to wait longer next time, which again would be WAY more of a problem than she’s making it out to be, and I’m not sure why none of the humans see that.

Ian irritates me again by calling Wanda “the good luck charm“, but she ignores that, only responding to him when he asks if she feels better knowing the Seeker is safe, which of course she says she does, but she’s lying.  Because Ian is oh so smart, he notices she’s lying, but she manages to divert his attention by saying they should go catch some Healers, so he says nothing about the lie.

We find out that Wanda’s plan was to lead a Healer or two out of a Healing facility by telling them that she had a friend in her van that was injured, but surprise surprise, she doesn’t even have to go that far, because when she gets to the Healing facility, there are two Healers getting ever so conveniently into their car in the parking lot.   Again, Meyer, fuck you.

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She pulls up behind their car, catching their attention, and then gets out of the car, all weepy because apparently she feels soooo bad for doing what she’s doing.  Ugggggh.  She tells them that she has a friend in the back and she doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, so they go with her to the back of the van, where Jared chloroforms them as soon as the door is opened.

Jared pulls the Healers into the van and off they go, Ian driving this time.  He apologizes to Wanda and holds her hand, then calls her a fucking “excellent charm“, pissing me off yet again, while Wanda gets emo because apparently their ‘missions’ went too well, and she feels that fate is rushing her.  SHE was the one who said she was in a hurry to do this shit, why the hell is she bitching about it happening too quickly?  And did she really not want the ‘missions’ to go easily?  If they hadn’t, chances are some of her friends would be either implanted or dead right now!  Stupid fucking bullshit.

They keep driving, and Wanda decides she wants fast food because how could anything be more fucking important and relevant to the storyline, so they go through the drive thru for fast food, where she gets WHO THE FUCK CARES?!

Wanda considers this her ‘last meal’, because she’s an overdramatic twit, and then we get a bunch of fucking paragraphs about her dipping a fry into a milkshake because that’s SUPER FUCKING IMPORTANT, and doesn’t make her look like a bitch at all, since she apparently only started doing it to piss Stryder off.  Yaaaay inane crap!  Why the FUCK is this shit included in this book?  No one cares about your obsession with food, Meyer!  MOVE ON!

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They make it home with nothing of note happening at all, and even the Seekers are apparently no longer around, because they’ve decided people just disappear and die in the desert for no reason all the time, and Kyle must have gotten away scot free, so that’s not even a thing they have to worry about.

We’d had a saying like that on the Mists Planet: Cross too many ice fields alone, and wind up a claw beast’s meal.  That was a rough translation.  It sounded better in Bear.

This…is an actual line that’s in the book.  It’s lines like this that make me wonder how this book ever got published.  That is one of the dumbest things I have ever read.  Nothing would make that sound better, Wanda.  I’m just…actually baffled by how stupid that is.  Wow.  Just wow.

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When they get back to the caves, a bunch of people are there waiting for them, but not the people that are dead (obviously) or Lily, which makes Wanda sad and think that maybe she’s better off not living on a “sad planet with so much death“.  Well maybe your kind should have left the humans alone, and then these things wouldn’t have had to happen, eh Wanda? The death of one of your ‘friends’ there was caused by the woman you just sent off to have a happy life elsewhere, so you should feel good knowing you prized a murderer you hated over a friend you supposedly loved.  You should leave, but not because you want to avoid death.

Wanda is also sad because random background character I don’t care about number 5’s son is being held on Lacey’s hip, which means Lacey is already trusted more than Wanda ever was, just by virtue of being human.  This is kinda unrealistic to me, given that Lacey supposedly has such an obnoxious personality and they think Wanda doesn’t, but Meyer once again needed something else for Wanda to whine about, so I’m not at all surprised she added this shit.

Jared and Ian carry the Healers they caught down to the hospital, and Wanda and Doc go through all the prep measures to perform the removals they plan to do, while Jared shows Ian how to use the cryotanks.  Wanda has Doc swear that he will follow through on all of her terms, which he does, and then we repeat that process with Jared, Ian and Jeb, because she couldn’t have just asked them all at once, before Wanda starts to show Doc how to do the procedure.

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I’m going to skip over all this, because she went through it all before when she did it, so it’s just repetition, but in the end, Doc is successful at removing the soul from the female Healer.  It is mentioned that the host is losing a lot of blood during the procedure, so I guess I was right about it being damaging, but Wanda thinks the aliens must have something to stop that, which of course they will, because they have everything.

When he’s got the soul out, Doc gives it to Ian, who is “the perfect assistant” (-_-), and he puts it into a cryotank after admiring it with wonder, which makes Wanda all sappy toward him.  Wanda feels better once the tank is closed, because she realizes that everyone really will take care of the souls as well as she would have, so it doesn’t make it as bad that she has become a traitor, I guess.

But right when Wanda is starting to feel good about everything, Jeb cries out and lifts his gun because the male Healer is on his knees on his cot (amazing he managed to get that far up without anyone noticing).  Why they didn’t think to give one of the Healers more chloroform than the other when they knew they could only do one at a time, I don’t know, but hey; stupidity seems to run rampant here.

Jared tackles the Healer and pins him to the cot, intending to use more chloroform on him, but he’s too late; the Healer stares at Wanda, clearly feeling betrayed, asks her “Why”, and then collapses onto the cot, clearly having done the brain shredding thing that Wanda was so afraid the Seeker would do.

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Wanda jumps toward him and cries out in anguish, and that’s the end of the chapter.  So yay, now we’re back to Wanda feeling guilty about shit again, and it’s gonna be another “back to square one” situation.  Really, Meyer, continually bringing your main character back to square one on various subjects is not a good way to flesh out a plot.  It’s lazy, stupid and boring.  I’ll be on chapter 54 next recap, and there are only 60 chapters, yet the story still hasn’t gotten interesting, fun or romantic.  What a waste of time this has been.

Still, I’ll see you next time, because I’m going to continue to waste my time until this book is done, because I said I would.  I’m sure you’re just as excited as I am to see what happens from here!  (Spoiler alert:  It’s nothing good.)

(See Mike’s take on this chapter at http://emptystress.wordpress.com!)

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