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Q&A: Waste of Time

The eighty-fifth question for the Q&A section of this blog is: “How do you waste the biggest chunk of time each day or week?”

Facebook. Without a doubt, that is the answer for this one; I check it way more than I reasonably should. What can I say; I like to know what’s going on in the lives of my friends! …Yeah, I know, that’s not a great excuse, especially with my friend count.  Still true though. So yeah, pathetically enough, it’s Facebook.  And that’s that!

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Check out Mike’s answer at http://emptystress.wordpress.com, and please feel free to post your own in the comments! :)

(Next question: “What have you been most naive about?”)

Q&A: Protected

The eighty-fourth question for the Q&A section of this blog is: “What in the world would you most like to see protected?”

Good people. That’s the immediate answer that comes to mind when I read this question. I know there are lots of things in the world that need protecting, but I think this covers a good percentage of them – or at least the ones that deserve it, anyway. To me, it’s almost like protecting the innocent (children, animals, etc.) except a bit more specific, because it’s somewhat hard to determine what is and is not actually ‘innocent’. For example, children are deemed to be ‘innocent’ by default, but not all children are truly innocent. I know that seems harsh and cruel to say, but it is, unfortunately, also true. I’m not going to get into why it’s true right now, as that’s a whole post in and of itself, but it is, so for that reason, my answer is ‘good people’. People who deserve good things to happen to them.

It has been my experience, in my almost 30 years of life, that genuinely good people are usually the most trodden on and screwed over, while those who abuse and take advantage of others seem to rise to the top and have everything handed to them on a silver platter. I know I’ve mentioned that in this blog before, and I’m sorry if anyone feels like I’m harping on about it, but it bothers me severely, so it’s a bit hard to let go of. Good people deserve good things, and unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be how the world works, and I just can’t make sense of it.

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So I would like to see genuinely good people protected, so that even if they can’t get the best of everything (which they deserve, and bad people do not :P), they will at least be able to have relatively happy, healthy lives, getting what they need and staying safe from unnecessary harm. I know, I know, many would argue that good people are the way they are because of the hardships they’ve suffered…but perhaps after they’ve suffered enough to prove that they are, in fact, genuinely good, then they can be rewarded by a lifetime of protection after that, providing they continue to be good people. That seems fitting to me.

I just wish I could protect the good people in my life, instead of watching them suffer and fall apart while I’m able to do exactly nothing, as is happening now. :( Karma needs to exist…

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Check out Mike’s answer at http://emptystress.wordpress.com, and please feel free to post your own in the comments! :)

(Next question: “How do you waste the biggest chunk of time each day or week?”)

Q&A: Ignorant

The eighty-third question for the Q&A section of this blog is: “What have you been most ignorant about in your life?”

You know, I really don’t know the answer to this. I know there have been a lot of instances and periods in my life when I’ve been ignorant of the truth of a situation, but I’m not sure when I would have done that the most. I try not to be ignorant as much as possible, but everyone falters sometimes…I’m just really not sure when would have been the worst example of it for me. Some of these questions are really hard…

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Check out Mike’s answer at http://emptystress.wordpress.com, and please feel free to post your own in the comments! :)

(Next question: “What in the world would you most like to see protected?”)

Q&A: Being Poor

The eighty-second question for the Q&A section of this blog is: “What is the poorest you’ve ever been?”

Well, I guess the poorest I’ve ever been would technically be when I was living off of student loans, with no actual income, so all of my ‘money’ was debt…but because that feels like a cop-out answer, I’m going to say it was with my last boyfriend, in the first 2.5 years of our relationship.  He moved in with me only a few months into our relationship, because he had nowhere else to go (he was living with someone, but the house was a sty and he couldn’t afford the rent), and a few months later, he began attending school.  Because of the hours he had to put in at school, he couldn’t work much (and in his second year, he couldn’t work at all), so in order to support myself, him and my young son, I had to work 16 hours a day just to get by (and pay down loans he had). If I worked any less than that, we would have risked going into debt, so it was pretty much constant work on both our parts (in one way or another), just to squeak by.

So that’s probably when I was at my poorest, legitimately, which I have to say I am rather grateful for, because it certainly could have been much worse. I hope I am never that poor – and definitely hope I am never worse off than that – again.

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Check out Mike’s answer at http://emptystress.wordpress.com, and please feel free to post your own in the comments! :)

(Next question: “What have you been most ignorant about in your life?”)

Q&A: Freudian

The eighty-first question for the Q&A section of this blog is: “What was your most Freudian moment?”

God, I have no idea how I could possibly answer this. I have Freudian slips all the time (and lately autocorrect has a lot of them for me, like when it changed “safe place” to “warplane” when I was talking about having to meet my boyfriend’s ex-wife), so I’m not sure how I could pick one that was more significant than all the rest. Most of the time, they’re just kind of funny when they happen, but other times they can actually be quite poignant and make me aware of things I didn’t even know I was thinking or feeling…but I can’t think of any examples of that right now, unfortunately, so I haven’t got a good answer for this question. Sorry!

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Check out Mike’s answer at http://emptystress.wordpress.com, and please feel free to post your own in the comments! :)

(Next question: “What is the poorest you’ve ever been?”)

Q&A: Spontaneity

The eightieth question for the Q&A section of this blog is: “What is the most spontaneous you have ever been?”

I’m not normally a very spontaneous person, though that’s something I’ve been hoping for a long time would change about me…so it’s hard for me to think of anything spontaneous I’ve really done at any point before the past 8 months or so. I say that because I have done a few spontaneous things with my current boyfriend, since I met him, so I can go into a few of those here…but I still feel like there must be something further back that would fit better here. I’m probably wrong, though.

Anyway, the spontaneity with regards to my current boyfriend started, actually, the first day I met him, almost exactly 8 months ago. I was home with my son, trying to figure out what we would do for the day and chatting online with him (the man who would become my boyfriend), when he suddenly invited me and my son to join him and his son for a picnic play-date at a local park. Now, usually I would have instantly said no to a request like that, because I’d never met the guy so I couldn’t be sure I’d want my son around him, because I had no time to mentally prepare for meeting someone new (it’s surprisingly hard and anxiety provoking for me), because at the time I had lost my voice to laryngitis, and some other reasons that aren’t coming to the front of my mind right now but I know I had…but he assured me that the loss of voice was no problem, and that that would be a silly reason not to meet, and the attitude he had, combined with the things we’d talked about and how comfortable with and drawn to him I’d felt since we first started chatting, led me to say yes.

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In the time between saying yes and actually getting to the park, I thought of backing out multiple times, but by that point I’d already told my son what we were doing and taken him to pick up new sand toys to play with at the beach (there was a small one at the park we were going to), and I didn’t want to disappoint him, so I went along with it anyway. So, spontaneous action #1, which led to an amazing picnic, 6 hours together playing with the kids, and a plan to take the kids out on the harbour the following Sunday.

After that, the spontaneity continued with him asking me, late on Monday night (we met on Sunday), to go for a walk with him at a lake I’d never even heard of before, a bit of a distance from my home. The friend I was with when he asked this of me thought I was crazy for considering going, but go I did, meeting him at midnight in a grocery store parking lot. We ended up walking all around the lake and surrounding neighbourhood until 3:30 am, talking.  Our first date was that following Thursday, and was once again a situation where he asked me last minute if I wanted to go out with him, and I just couldn’t pass it up.

A couple of weeks later, we’d seen each other almost (if not) every day, and it was at that point that we got to talking about his motorcycle, and how much it meant to him.  Up to that point, I’d been very afraid of motorcycles, but I could see how much he loved it, so when he suggested we go out for a ride that night, after I told him I’d be willing to try it sometime…well, as you can probably guess, I did. At midnight that night, I hopped on the back of his bike, and off we went for a spontaneous ride. We were gone two hours, at least, and it was just fantastic. I’ve loved the bike ever since.

There have been some other spontaneous situations with him since then, but those are the most notable to me, and certainly stick out far better than any spontaneous situations I may have had that didn’t involve him. And let me tell you; I regret absolutely none of those spontaneous decisions. They were some of the best decisions in my life, and I look forward to more in the future.

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Check out Mike’s answer at http://emptystress.wordpress.com, and please feel free to post your own in the comments! :)

(Next question: “What was your most Freudian moment?”)

Q&A: Dumb Love

The seventy-ninth question for the Q&A section of this blog is: “Who is the dumbest person you ever dated more than once?”

Well, let’s see…who can I be considered to have dated more than once? I’ve had on/off relationships with people where we would break up for a couple of days or something, and then get back together, but I’m not sure if that counts as ‘dating more than once’ or not. I guess if it does, then the answer would have to be…my abusive ex, from many years ago. He has definitely done some exceptionally dumb things in his life (many of which have resulted in him getting arrested), especially since the last time I saw him, so I’m not sure there can be much question there.

If that doesn’t count, though, the closest I can think of is that my son’s father and I had a one night stand (which produced our son) a bit more than a year after we had broken up, so that’s not really dating more than once, but it was definitely really stupid.  He’s not stupid, but the situation certainly was.

So I don’t know if either of those really counts, but I’m pretty sure they’re the best I can do.

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Check out Mike’s answer at http://emptystress.wordpress.com, and please feel free to post your own in the comments! :)

(Next question: “What is the most spontaneous you have ever been?”)

Q&A: Attention

The seventy-eighth question for the Q&A section of this blog is: “When do you most need attention from your lover?”

I thought this would be a much easier question to answer than it turned out to be, and try as I might, I can’t seem to even figure out how to explain why.  The immediate answer that pops to mind is “when I need support”, like when I’m going through a loss,or some other hardship and need consoling, or a hug, or even just someone to be there with me through it…but for some reason, leaving that as the sole answer feels wrong. I wish I fully understood why.  But I guess since I can’t make this answer make any more sense, I’ll have to leave it at that…

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Check out Mike’s answer at http://emptystress.wordpress.com, and please feel free to post your own in the comments! :)

(Next question: “Who is the dumbest person you ever dated more than once?”)

Q&A: Concentration

The seventy-seventh question for the Q&A section of this blog is: “When do you have the strongest ability to concentrate?”

Um…wow, I don’t know. I guess for the most part, at night, but even then I need to be motivated to concentrate on whatever it is I’m trying to do…so I suppose the ‘real’ answer would be whenever something is interesting or pressing enough to motivate me to do it, or when I’m really inspired in the direction of whatever it is I’m trying to concentrate on. Otherwise, I admittedly get distracted pretty easily.

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Check out Mike’s answer at http://emptystress.wordpress.com, and please feel free to post your own in the comments! :)

(Next question: “When do you most need attention from your lover?”)

Q&A: No Values

The seventy-sixth question for the Q&A section of this blog is: “Who has the weakest set of values in your family? And among your friends?”

It’s sad to say that there are a few people in my family with pretty weak values, but it’s the truth; I mean, for example, I do have both a half-brother and a step-brother that have never even met their nephew (my son), despite that he’s almost 5 years old, and they’ve been living in the same city as I have since before he was born. Perhaps that, in itself, is not too terrible (though it still feels like it is to me), but both of them have also used and abused their fathers, completely disregarding how their actions made them feel, and considering neither of their fathers (particularly my step-father) deserved it at all, it’s impossible to imagine a world in which I could ever respect either of them again.

When it comes right down to it, though, I’d have to say that my half-brother wins for ‘weakest values’, because his actions in the past few months have gone above and beyond what I believed he would be capable of in terms of horrible treatment of our father, and when you add that to the years of neglecting his family, while simultaneously acting like he’s so much better than everyone else and deserves not only their love and respect, but also their money…yeah, I think he’s lacking some moral fiber, and has definitely lost any sense of family values. I won’t go into any more detail about the things he’s done, but really, a year ago I never would have thought someone could outshine my step-brother in the ‘selfish, entitled child’ department, but my half-brother has certainly succeeded there.  And I look forward to the day I get to tell him exactly how I feel about his actions.

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As for my friends, I’m not sure.  I’ve certainly had a few friends who have been perfectly fine with living off of others and doing as little work as possible to get through life (and usually bitching about even that), but I don’t actually want to think too much about who has the weakest values out of my friends, because my friends are awesome people, for the most part, so…I’m gonna end this here.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

Check out Mike’s answer at http://emptystress.wordpress.com, and please feel free to post your own in the comments! :)

(Next question: “When do you have the strongest ability to concentrate?”)

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